I have pictures of my daughters and descriptions of my personal life throughout this blog. True, it’s mostly asinine nonsense, but there are morsels of information that actually matter to me. Statistically speaking, at least one creep has stumbled upon my writing and my pictures and I’m not sure how I feel about that.


I recently discovered that WordPress has a feature that lists all the search terms that’ve been entered into engines which led to your site. I’ve decided to list the top 22 terms that directed some stranger to read my blog. Sure, it’s interesting, but in reality, it’s my wife’s birthday and we’re going to the pool so I don’t have time to write something longer like I usually would on a Sunday. I narrowed it down to 22 by omitting some of the more banal terms; there are a few others I wanted to leave out because they seem too vulgar to associate with anything I’ve written, but I really want you to get a feel for the type of people that have read what you’re reading. And yes, these terms are listed in order of usage (the first ten or so were used multiple times which is a bit scary):


Green eyed child

Trailer Park Juggernauts.

Free people own guns slaves don’t

Girl boy nude finger penis cum

Inked peak

Bind her

Impregnating my daughter

Siva statue

Quake visor green skin

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth

Duct taped

Bind self with tape

One pant leg rolled up sweatpants

Locked in the closet naked

The Velveteen Maraca

Wife duct tape me in the closet

Bugs that live in the mud with pinchers on their butts

Inborn proclivity

Digging holes for farming trees in the suburbs

Modern apt thirty something

Cadillac calligraphy

Chris Stokes sex picture


See what I mean? If you’ve read my blog before, hopefully you’ll be just as confused as I am as to how some of these terms were linked with my writing via the internet. Seriously, what the hell were some of these people hoping to find? Whatever. I’m off to the pool.






5 thoughts on “I wish you hadn’t found me…

  1. Too funny. I have the same name as a porn star, so I get tons of people looking for porn. Wonder what they think when they come to a Christian Author’s blog. Looking for porn and find Jesus. Heehee!

  2. This is REALLY bizarre and, yes, a bit frightening. Now I’m curious to use this wordpress feature to see what has led others to my site. It’s this sort of thing that makes me uneasy about posting pictures of my family anywhere on the internet. Hope your wife had a fabulous birthday!

  3. That’s really shocking… and almost hard to believe… and quite disturbing really! I would like to imagine that such search terms were only entered by the tiniest minority of people and not rgenerally representative of the online population… but if your statistics are accurate then one can only wonder… I haven’t had any one found my blog using search terms yet, and really, considering what you wrote, I am also rather hoping they won’t! Good to get out and go to the pool and celebrate with your family – that’s the most precious and valuable time worth having!

      1. Yes, i’m sure – but as my blog’s only been public for a week or two i’ll wait to see what happens given time. I did actually have my first search term yesterday it was “stillness whispers poem”. If it continues in that direction I will be quite happy! Your search term list is really rather horrible, especially given that it is so unrelated to the subject nature of your blog.

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